Why don't they write like they talk?
Why are local TV news stories written with so much "cop-speak" or law enforcement jargon instead of every day, universally understood words and phrases?
The simple answer is local writers, most often, cut and paste words and phrases from news releases provided by local law enforcement. Either the local reporters don't understand what they are covering or are so overworked that they don't have the time to properly rewrite a press handout.
Below is an example. It's a simple story, compounded with copious amounts of police jargon.
The Maven has removed the writer's name and the station they work for. The intent is not to embarrass anyone, but to make a point.
FORT WAYE, Ind. (W***) – A standoff
that started early Saturday ended after officers discharged their weapons on
the suspect as they exited the vehicle with a weapon.
Maven: "Discharged"? Try "shot".
"Exited the vehicle with a weapon". Try "got out of their car with a gun".
In a press release from Fort Wayne Police Department, shortly after midnight on Saturday officers were patrolling in the area of Calhoun Street and 4th Street when they noticed a suspicious vehicle. Officers attempted to make contact with the driver when the vehicle took off initiating a vehicle pursuit. The suspect drove towards the Wells Street roundabout coming to a stop and displaying a firearm.
Maven: "Officers attempted to..." Try "Officers tried to talk to...".
"The vehicle took off...". Try "the driver (not the vehicle) sped away and officers followed in pursuit".
"Displaying a firearm" (again, implying the vehicle displayed a gun). Try "displayed a gun".
Officers attempted to make contact verbally but the driver refused to exit the vehicle prompting officers to involve the Emergency Services Team, Tactical Officers and Crisis Response Team, Negotiators.
Maven: "Officers attempted to make contact...". Try "officers tried to talk to the driver who refused to get out of his car".
"Prompting officers..." try "the Emergency Services Team, Tactical Officers and Crisis Response Team, Negotiators were brought in to help".
Negotiators were able to establish communication with the suspect and spent several hours attempting to convince the suspect to exit the vehicle unarmed.
Maven: "...establish communications...". Try "talk to".
"...attempting to convince...". Try "tried to get the suspect to get out of his car".
The story goes on from there, but you see the point.
Why not use the everyday language you use when talking with friends, family, or your spouse...rather than police jargon?
Take a look at this story from another TV news operation. Notice any difference?
FORT WAYNE, Ind. (W&&&) - Fort Wayne Police say they shot a man when he got out of a car with a gun following a four-hour standoff early Saturday morning.
Officers were patrolling the area of Calhoun and 4th streets just after midnight when they attempted to make contact with the driver of a "suspicious vehicle."
Police say the car took off, leading to a pursuit that ended when the driver came to a stop at the Wells Street roundabout near Superior Street.
Officers say they saw the suspect displaying a gun.
Police closed the roundabout and called in its tactical team and negotiators because of the gun and his refusal to get out of the car.
Negotiators spent several hours trying to persuade the man to exit the vehicle without the gun.
At 4:40 a.m., they say the man got out of the vehicle with a gun and officers shot him. A statement released by police did not say if the man pointed the gun at officers.
The man was treated at the scene and taken to a local hospital. His condition has not been released.
Indiana State Police is investigating the shooting and the officers will be placed on a standard five-day administrative leave, both of which are protocol in police-involved shootings.
The name of the man has not been released.
The intersection is back open to traffic.
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