How To Read A Radio Help Wanted Ad

You too, can join the glamorous world of radio. But, you have to know how to read between the lines to find the true qualifications that the employer desires of the applicant.

Follow along, as the Maven breaks down the typical Help Wanted Ad into easy-to-understand, bite-size morsels.

This ad was posted on allaccess.com on Friday.

Let's start at the beginning: 

The ad says: "Can you entertain? Can you work phones".
What this means: Can you show up for work, read the liners and manage to answer the request line at least once an hour?

The ad says: "Can you read your listeners and then relate in a way that makes them feel you're just like them?"
What the ad means: Can you read, write, speak and understand English and not treat your listeners like complete idiots?

The ad says: "..........we're looking for our next on-air star".
What the ad means: we fired the last guy because he made way too much money. 

The ad says: "Great staff, just looking for a Great team player!!"
What the ad means: You will be the lowest in seniority and don't gripe when you get stuck working all the weekends and holidays. 

The ad says: "...must have 2 years on-air experience, have excellent production skills, and a passion for great radio"
What the ad means: working the intercom headset at McDonald's drive through is not considered experience; you'll need production skills since you will be doing most of the commercials yourself, and passion means that you'll be paid less than the guy at the McDonald's drive through.

The ad says: "....do country with a CHR flair"
What the ad means: can you talk over record intros without stepping on the vocals?

The ad says: "send package to....."
What the ad means: the program director doesn't know how to open his email and needs an excuse to leave the building and go to the Post Office.

The ad says: "Do not e-mail your packages"
What the ad means: We just told you to mail your package. Now we're telling you you're an idiot for even considering using e-mail. Take note, this is how you will be treated if you work here, stupid. 

The ad says: "......Equal Opportunity Employer." 
What the ad means: We're required to say that, but we will fire anyone, regardless of race, creed, national origin......

Still considering a position in radio? Didn't think so.