Just Plain Lousy

The Maven's last critique of a WOWO News copy/webpage offering was met with so much, uh, attention, the Maven thought they would pick a random story from the weekend and try again.
While the headline "Man Hits House with Truck, Runs Away" does grab one's attention, the visual of a man holding a truck in his hands and banging the side of a house, does seem, uh, less than plausible.

You can follow along, if you desire:

#1: Folks. Now, the Maven realizes that WOWO's high-priced consultant has been encouraging the WOWO News staff to write in a "personalized, intimate, and relaxed" manner ( I can't recall the exact wording of the email critique I saw, but that's pretty close). However, the word "folks" is overused to the point of distraction. Stop it.

#2: They. Who is they? The police, the neighbors? Identify who "they" are.

#3: Guy. See point  #1. Your consultant, sitting in that sunny locale and composing programming critiques for his many radio station clients from the well-appointed confines of his 31 foot sailboat would not be happy to know that you have also turned that word into an irritant. Please Google the phrase "fingernails on a chalkboard" for more enlightenment. 

#4: Cops. Please. While your coworkers and friends at the bar and the nearby Starbucks may refer to them as "cops", they are law enforcement officers who put their lives in danger everyday to protect your privileged asses so that your may sit in an air conditioned news room and search through the Urban Dictionary to find cutesy words to "spice up" your news copy. Stop it. Show some respect.

#5: "alcohol had something to do with this". Tell me, did alcohol drive the truck, hit the house, call the police, or write this insipid news story? Tell me, I'm dying to know. 

#6: Isn't there supposed to be some "relate-able" graphic to go in this box? Draw me a graphic. Doesn't someone in your office have an advanced art degree?

Yes, there is one more glaring error. Did you spot it?