Saturday, October 5, 2013

The Maven Accepts Your Challenge!

The email to the Maven said "go ahead, pick any news story. I dare you to find just one fXXing error. You dumb bastard". Oh, apparently the memo regarding "the use of company assets and email accounts to personally respond to bloggers and the media" has been rescinded, or someone out there on the south end of town has gone off the Reservation. 
Either way, the Maven will accept that challenge. The Maven's comments are in BLUE. Here goes....

NARCOTICS INVESTIGATION LEADS TO THE ARREST OF TW...

Narcotics Investigation Leads to the Arrest of Two Men 
Created by kblakeslee on 10/4/2013 4:15:39 PM

FORT WAYNE, Ind. (WOWO): On Friday, the Fort Wayne Police Department along with several drug task force teams served a search warrant that led to the arrests of two men.
(your missing a comma after "department" and after "teams") Error #1

The warrant was served at a home on Southpark Avenue after police received a tip that someone from the residence was using methamphetamine.
(Southpark Avenue does not exist in Fort Wayne or Allen County. did you mean South Park Drive? beats the hell out of me) Error #2

During the search, drug paraphernalia related to methamphetamine use was found and two men were also found at the home and taken into custody. 
(during THE search, which search was that? only one search was performed, so the copy should read "during a search".) Error #3
(the last part of the sentence is a run-on) Error #4)

David Snow was arrested for Maintaining a Common Nuisance, Possession of Paraphernalia, False Informing and two outstanding warrants. Snow had no bond.
(Snow had no bond is not an accurate statement and is presented in the wrong tense. Snow was held without bond is correct) Error #5

Tyler Bobay was arrested for Maintaining a Common Nuisance and Possession of Paraphernalia.  Bobay’s charges had a $3,250.00 bond.
(again, with the bond? say that Bobay's bond was set at ......) Error #6

The investigation is currently ongoing.
(while not an error per se, the word "ongoing" is a cliche, a crutch that can irritate listeners. why not just say the investigation continues?)
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