Clear, Concise, Uh, Not So Much

The Media Maven is proud to, once again, present the Ambiguous WOWO News Story of the Week:

The Maven's snarky comments are embedded into this journalistic masterpiece....

AN ATTEMPTED ROBBERY IN NEW HAVEN

An Attempted Robbery In New Haven
Created by mmcintyre on 12/26/2013 3:51:27 PM

NEW HAVEN, Ind. (WOWO): An attempted robbery occured today as two men were meeting two other men regarding the purchase of their vehicle.  

Occurred is misspelled. Who is selling the vehicle, the first or second two men?

When the two victims arrived at the scene to purchase the vehicle, they were both confronted by the suspects followed by an arguement.  

It is unclear which pair of men are the “victims” and which pair are the “suspects”? You mean that an argument walked up and followed these men? Oh, and argument is misspelled.

Upon the incident, both victims were pepper sprayed and then shot at.  No injuries were reported.  

What in the hell does “upon the incident” mean? How does someone get assaulted with pepper spray and not be injured?

The first suspects are described as a black male aproximately 6'0" medium build, dressed in black jeans, a black jacket, and a black stocking cap.  The 2nd suspect is described as a black male, lighter skinned, aproximately 5'9" and also of medium build.  He is reported to have a goatee and mustache, also wearing a black stocking cap.  

Now, wait a minute. Does “the first suspects” mean the first pair of men, the second pair of men, or one of the individual men? When you say 6’0” do you mean, “six feet tall”? Does “2^nd suspect” mean the second suspect? Oh, and approximately is misspelled, TWICE.

Both suspects fled the scene in their black GMC Yukon with black tinted windows and no license plate.

If the black GMC Yukon, with the black tinted windows containing the black men with their black clothing and black stocking cap, had NO license plate, how in the world can you authoritatively say it was “their” black GMC Yukon? 

If you have any information you are asked to call New Haven Police.

The Maven is pretty sure that from this news story, the phone at the New Haven PD will be ringing off the hook.